Boston
by KaelynnLovesGerard
Summary: Katie is 17, the guys are 20. When things finally start looking up for Katie, James tears her world apart...again. James/Katie. Sequel to 'The Only Exception', but you don't need to read it to understand.
1. Lucky and You've Got Mail

**You guys know the drill. Here's the situation:**

**Katie is three years younger than the guys, blah blah blah, they looked fifteen in the show and Katie looked twelve, blah blah. **

**Now for the important stuff. This is a sequel, but people, you can surely understand after attaining some basic knowledge:**

**So James and Katie are together. If you want to find out about their dramatic adventures beforehand, I'd advise going to my page and the story "The Only Exception".**

**All you have to know is that James and Katie are together. :) It's good to be back, homies. I can't get away from my little world I've created, and to be honest I don't want to. I have the entire plot worked out, pretty much, and am excited to deliver it to you, hot and steamy, on a fresh sesame seed bun.**

I can't even believe how lucky I am.

The fact that I am sitting here, in the arms of none other than James Diamond, is enough to take my breath away and make me contemplate whether I deserve to be with such an amazing person.

_Do I deserve him?_ my mind asks me. I think about that for a moment, feeling the soft breeze on my cheeks.

_Of course you do_, I scold myself, believing that I'm starting to sound like one of those sappy, annoying, insecure girls from romantic vampire novels. _You didn't go through all of those things last year to come out not deserving him._

"What're you thinking about, Katie?" a voice asks, and I look up at James. I smile slightly at him, tracing one finger down the arm that's wrapped around my waist.

"Nothing," I tell him, looking out at the ocean. I've always loved this spot, since the first time he brought me here. It's away from everybody, and quiet. James leans his chin on the top of my head. "What are you thinking about?" I ask him, and he laughs lightly.

"Well," he begins, "I was thinking about how Valentine's Day is coming up…"

I want to squeal aloud at this, but I don't; it's our first Valentine's Day together and I really don't want to sound like a giggling schoolgirl. But I'm extremely excited, and for a moment I wonder at this; seven months ago I would have been running some sort of Anti-Valentine's Day Campaign, not getting all nervous and bubbly about it.

But things have changed for me. And that's okay.

I turn my head to him, and he leans in to kiss me.

"Ugh!" James suddenly exclaims, and I jump, resulting in me falling off of the rock we were perched on a few seconds ago. I snap back up, looking for whatever startled James, and I see him rubbing the back of his head.

Carlos pokes his head out from behind a tree. "Well, helloooo, lovebirds." He picks something off of the ground near where we were just sitting. He holds up a Frisbee, grinning. "Sorry about that. You know I have crappy aim."

"Yeah," James mumbles, pulling a small mirror out of his pocket. He lifts it up to check his flawless appearance, seems to find something wrong, and pats his hair gingerly. I roll my eyes.

"Hey, I thought you took that thing away from him?" a voice, which I recognize as Kendall's, asks from beside me. He's smiling, Jo on his arm and looking equally as happy. I roll my eyes.

"Psht," James scoffs. He turns to Kendall. "No woman will ever break apart me and my mirror. A person doesn't look this good by being sloppy." He begins patting his hair again, though I can't see anything wrong with it. I cross my arms, and he sees the eyebrow that I raise. "Well! You can't expect me to just walk around with some greasy mop on top of my head!" I tip my eyes up at Kendall, who is standing by me now. He just shakes his head, laughing, and tugs Jo's hand.

"C'mon, Jo," he begins, smiling slightly. "I think I can feel his hairspray fumes damaging my brain." They trot off, leaving James to glare in their general direction. I take his hand and lead him back to the rock we were seated on.

Even though it's completely corny, something that belongs on some cheesy sitcom, I say, "Now where were we…?" and get on my tiptoes to kiss him.

He smiles cockily. "I think we were-"

"Hey, guys!" a voice interrupts, and I groan. I tap my foot impatiently at Logan, who has Haile's hand clasped in his own.

I've tried to get used to this kind of interruption, but in the four-and-a-half months (well, more like six, because the whole Zack thing was a joke; we wanted each other almost the whole time, so who are we kidding?) that we've dated, I still get angry with my brothers.

Haile understands my pain. "Sorry, Katie," she says with a shrug. "I couldn't keep him away." She nods toward Logan, who has already dropped her hand to join Carlos in his Frisbee game. I just sigh and wave her off.

"It's fine. I'll live." I grab my phone and dig through my bag, pulling out a set of mini-speakers. I plug my cell into it and play Augustana's "California's Burning", swaying with the music. Sitting back down, I see James looking wistfully after the two boys playing Frisbee.

I sigh. "Go on. But you might mess up your hair," I warn, and I see a flicker of doubt flash across his expression. He touches his brown locks softly once more, and looks between me, the Frisbee-playing boys, and the mirror that he's just slid out of his pocket.

"I guess I'm willing to risk it," he says, and stays for another moment before dashing after Carlos and Logan. I laugh, even though I pretended to be annoyed, and Haile does, too.

She claps her hands together. "I'm gonna go play, too," she says apologetically.

"It's okay," I say, letting out a big breath. "I'm fine just watching."

"Really?" she asks.

"Really. Now go." She skips merrily off to the guys, and I chuckle at the look on their faces when they realize a woman wants to play with them. I see Logan ask her something, and then Haile puts her hands on her hips. He seems to quickly backtrack, holding his hands in front of him, and I laugh.

I lean back, closing my eyes and listening to the waves. "California's Burning" tapers off into nothing, and I switch my speakers off before anything loud and aggressive can come on and destroy my peace.

I hug my knees to my chest, feeling chilly in my sweatshirt. I hear James and Carlos shouting each other down about something. I can't help but smile when I hear James say something about his hair for the seventh time today.

Even though we've officially been together almost five months, I love him. Of course, I loved him beforehand for years, but this is a bit different; more passionate, intense, so all consuming that it makes my heart flutter whenever I see him. I try to disregard the fact that I sound like Cinderella.

_And_, I remind myself in my head, _he's loved you since the scandal_. Which makes him having been in love with me for nearly seven months. I smile to myself when I remember the camera's flashing as they captured our second kiss, and how dramatic and heartbreaking that night seemed. It pales in comparison to the depressing, awful Zack era.

_Zack._

A tremor shakes my body violently, partly from cold, partly from remembering my abusive ex-boyfriend. Memories flood back, memories of closed fists and angry eyes. But most prominent is the recollection of him choking me, moments before James walked in and kicked his ass.

I blush scarlet; I'm still embarrassed that my brothers and friends found me being beaten by my boyfriend. No words can describe the shame that comes with being abused by someone you love. It makes you feel worthless, undeserving, and pathetic.

I notice that Kendall and Jo have come to a halt and are now sitting in the sand thirty yards down the beach. He slings an arm around her shoulder, and she grabs the hand that's hanging limply around her neck. They nuzzle their noses together, in a little Eskimo kiss that makes me cringe; sometimes they are too embarrassing for words.

But I wonder if Kendall feels the same way when he sees James and I holding hands and laughing while walking down Rodeo Drive (and believe you me, the first time we did that, it was a paparazzi circus). I decide that it's different, though how that makes sense I have no clue.

I think it's very likely that Jo and Kendall will get married. They've broken up maybe three times since they began dating, and sure, there was that Selena Gomez rumor flying around, but it's inevitable that they'll get married and have little blonde children. I nearly chortle at the thought; those kids would have some crazy family members on their hands.

_I wonder if James and I will have kids?_

This thought comes out of nowhere, startling me into falling off of the rock again. I land on the sand, letting out a muffled 'oof' when my stomach hits the ground. Standing and brushing myself off, I look around to see if anyone saw.

James, Carlos, Logan, and Haile are pointing and laughing. I smile wryly and flip the bird. Carlos puts a hand over his mouth, eyes widening as he waggles a finger at me, and I roll my eyes; sometimes he acts like my mother.

I still can't shake the thought that struck me, and allow myself to ponder it further, which I'll probably regret at some point in the future. It's not really the thought of the children; it's what has to take place to get the children that makes my body flush with heat. I look down at my Converse and feel my cheeks burn, unable to stop the mental images that flood

my brain.

"Hey!" I hear James exclaim, and he jogs over to me. He's breathing heavily, and no wonder; he's been running around, trying to keep up with Carlos, for goodness sake.

He throws an arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek. "What's wrong? Why are you hiding from us?" he jokes. I look up more this time, and he cocks his head curiously. "What are you blushing about?"

Thankfully Carlos chooses then to throw the Frisbee our way, thwacking the object into James's hair and effectively pissing him off, allowing me to change the subject.

….

"Mail!" James exclaims as he comes through our door the next morning, holding a bagel and a stack of letters. Every morning he goes to get our mail from the box downstairs, and today is no different.

"Oooh!" Carlos exclaims from behind me, and I turn to see him in his baggy boxers and a Katy Perry t-shirt. I choke back a laugh as he pushes past me to get to this month's issue of Helmet Monthly.

"Dude, what's with the shirt?" Kendall asks from the table, where he's munching Cheerios and looking anything but cheerful; as he grows older, his Man-Menstrual Morning Madness (or at least that's what I call it) just seems to get worse. "How about you not gay up the apartment before lunch?"

"Ha-ha, Kendork," Carlos says sarcastically. "Maybe you'd think twice about mocking my Katy Perry garb if a certain someone happened to dig up the Britney Spears shirt of '09." Kendall's mouth snaps shut and he just glares at Carlos, chomping his cereal more angrily than usual. Carlos ignores the look, and proceeds to grab his magazine from James. He marches off back to his room, forgetting breakfast, already flipping avidly through the pages of the periodical in his hands.

I would roll my eyes if it weren't for the look on James's face distracting me.

He's looking down at a thick envelope, scanning the paper with his eyes and touching it with the tips of his fingers. His gaze stops moving, and his eyes widen. I tilt my head, observing with interest; what could bring such a strange reaction out of him?

I walk toward him and peek over the top of the envelope. I can just make out the letters _C-A-L_, before he realizes that I'm looking and snaps the paper against his chest. I raise an eyebrow.

"It's nothing," he says, waving a hand. "One of those things where you think you win a sweepstakes, and then realize that they're screwing with you." He slips it into his back pocket, an odd thing to do when disposing of junk mail. I am still suspicious, but I guess I trust him.

_Maybe he has a secret passion for contests?_ I try to reason in my mind, but I shake my head slightly. No, I know all of his passions, maybe even all the secret ones. And why would he keep his love of sweepstakes a secret?

I can't honestly draw anything from these pointless questions, so I sit down across from Kendall and begin making my breakfast. He just stares forward, chewing loudly, and I can't help but feel sorry for Jo, the almost certain future morning companion for the beast sitting across from me.

James goes to his room, walking quickly and without saying anything. I'm almost certain that he'll come back, claiming to have forgotten something.

He doesn't.

**I'm so happy to be back you don't even know. What do you think? REviews= love and quick updates :)**


	2. Fall for You

**So thanks for the loverly reviews on the first chapter; revies inspire me, ya know? AS I've said, I know the entire story, pretty much; it's connecting the events that I'm having trouble with.**

**Reviews help Writer's Block. No joke. Ask anyone.**

**Okay guys, here we go:**

"So, what do you think it was?" Jo asks me that afternoon at the mall, while we look for Valentine's Day clothes. The boys declined to tag along, and Haile was going to record some tracks for her new CD today, so we're alone.

I shift my Journey's bag to my other hand, hearing the cardboard shoeboxes tumble over each other, rustling the plastic. "I don't know…" I say, not really contributing anything helpful to the conversation. Right now we're trying to figure out what James's letter said…to no success.

"Well, maybe it was, like, something embarrassing," Jo states, raising her shoulders. I shake my head, but she continues. "Maybe his grandma sent him a letter or something."

"No," I say as we walk past an Abercrombie and Fitch. I plug my nose as I keep talking, trying to keep out the noxious fumes being exuded from the overpriced store. My voice is nasally as I say, "I don't think that he would be so secretive about something like that."

Jo gasps suddenly, causing me to start. She looks as if she's been struck by some sudden possibility, and she stops dead in her tracks, her face paling. "He didn't have a girlfriend back in Minnesota, did he?"

I let out a sigh of relief at her question; he had only one girlfriend before we moved to California, and he broke it off when we left. He hasn't spoken to her since.

But as soon as I tell her this, Jo shakes her head. "Well, Katie, you may not know that they've spoken…"

I roll me eyes. "Believe me, it's not an old girlfriend. The envelope said C-A-L, and he's never had a girlfriend with a name starting with those letters."

Jo shrugs. "If you say so," she says doubtfully. She tucks a loose strand of shiny blonde hair behind her ear.

"So…." I begin. "Do you wanna grab a bite to eat?" The fact that I even asked is hilarious. Despite her skinny figure, Jo could eat all day if given the chance. She nods her head vigorously, and we link arms to walk to the food court.

We pass by several fliers announcing Valentine's Day sales, and it seems that I can't keep the holiday off my mind. My brain practically hums with excitement; what plans does James have for this February fourteenth?

"Valentine's Day," I say, pointing casually at a poster inside of Hot Topic. It declares, 'BLEEDING HEARTS SALE-FEB.14 10 A.M.-7 P.M.'

"Mmhmm," Jo says after taking a quick glance at it. She takes her arm out of mine, facing forward and staring at something. I'm still looking inside the rocker store, wondering if they have any cool new t-shirts in stock.

When Jo still hasn't said anything after a minute, I turn around. I tilt my head, wondering what she's doing, and finally realize what she's been looking at.

The wedding gown is beautiful, with a strapless silk top and Cinderella-esque style below the midriff. The net fabric catches the light and twinkles slightly as Jo walks up to the store, touching the glass lightly with the tips of her fingers. Her eyes are wide and sparkling, a slight smile spreading on her face. I smile with her, knowing what she's thinking about.

"It's beautiful," she breathes, clasping her hands together.

I nod, and walk up beside her. "Yes, it is." I can't really think of what else to say, so I just stand beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She stares for another minute or so, and then sighs heavily.

"Let's go eat," she says, turning, still looking at the dress out of the corner of her eye. "Does Chick-Fil-A sound good?" she asks me, finally tearing her gaze from the wedding gown. I nod, biting my lip.

As we head to the food court, all I can think of is the wedding dress and the way Jo looked at it. I never knew that she wanted to get married anytime soon, and in her gaze I saw such intensity and longing that it was almost frightening. I almost smile again; I can picture her and Kendall's wedding perfectly.

_What will my wedding be like? _I think, and my head spins for a moment. It's silly, but I honestly can't see myself marrying anyone but James. He makes me laugh, smile, and go weak at the knees. He's turned this tough, tomboyish girl into a giggling idiot, and I wonder at the fact that I don't even care anymore.

We enter the food court, Jo grabbing a table while I head over to the Chick-Fil-A to order. Waiting in line, I pick at my nails and check my phone for new messages. I smile down at the screen; of course, James sent me something. I click the OK button and wait for something to pop onto the screen.

I didn't realize that the phone was turned up so loud, and the guy in front of me swears under his breath at the loud music. I quickly turn it down, flushing in embarrassment and grabbing my earbuds. I plug them in, muttering an apology to the man in front of me.

It's James singing, and I listen intently to the words, before recognizing lyrics to Secondhand Serenade's "Fall For You". I roll my eyes; sometimes he's so corny it makes me cringe. But I smile anyways, loving the thought of him sitting in his room, singing his heart out to a cell phone.

_You moron_, I text, and get a reply soon after I send it.

_What? Didn't you like it?_

I sigh and chuckle, punching buttons on the phone.

_I loved it. But I'm at the mall and my phone was turned all the way up. _I hesitate for a moment before adding, _Moron_.

He just sends back a sad face, causing me to snort. The guy in front of me glances back and gets out of the line. I make a face at him as he leaves, and walk up to order. I peek at the cashier's nametag, proceeding to tell 'Seth' my order.

When I'm done, I move along the line and feel my phone buzz against my thigh again. I pick it up, making a noise in my throat when I see that the sender is once again James. I flip the phone open.

_Hello? Are you there?_

Sometimes he can be a little impatient. I roll my eyes and sigh.

_No. Aliens abducted me._

It's not long before there is a reply: _Cute. But not funny._

_I'm hungry, I need food. Quit wasting my time being adorable_, I add, trying to be nice again. I shut the phone and carry the tray over to where Jo is sitting with her chin in her hands. I notice that her eyes keep flickering in the direction of the bridal shop.

"Here's your food," I tell her, but she doesn't look at me. "Why are you staring at that dress again?"

She jumps and turns to me. "What? I wasn't staring at it."

I fold my arms over my chest. "Yes, you were. Did Kendall ask you…?" I trail off, raising an eyebrow. She coughs on the French fry she just took a bite of. I pound her back, and she takes a deep breath.

"No, why would you think that?" she asks me when she stops hacking. Her eyes are wide, and her face is red.

"Just because," I say simply, turning back to my food. I look at her one last time before going back to thoughts of James.

**Another thing: has anyone heard "Na Na Na", the new My Chemical Romance song? Cause it is freaking amazing 3 *fangirl squee* Just kidding I'm not really a fangirl...okay maybe I am.**


	3. You Don't Know How Much I Love You

**You have demanded it, folks, and here you go. P.S. Sorry SiriusLives1234; I know I said one by the end of the weekend, but I was busy. **

James gets another mysterious letter two days later.

It's not that I don't trust him- I do, completely- but these two letters stir something in me, a faint unease that makes my stomach drop slightly whenever I think about them. He pretends that the envelope is junk again; but I know that he's lying.

He just left the breakfast table to take his letter to his room, like he did last time. I give Carlos an inquisitive glance.

He shrugs. "Maybe he's feeling sick."

His ridiculous explanation (that doesn't really explain anything at all) makes me roll my eyes. I look back at my Frosted Flakes, suddenly not feeling hungry anymore, and push them away. James comes back to the table and sits, looking around at everyone.

"So what'd I miss?" he asks. He spoons some oatmeal into his mouth, glancing around the table again.

"Katie PMSing," Carlos quips, and I smack him in the back of the head.

"Ow! What?" he asks, giving me a confused look. I just shake my head at him. James looks at me out of the corner of his eyes, and away again when he sees me notice. I squint at him, trying to read his expression. He pretends to read the cereal box, focusing intently on the Kellogg's logo on the top. I read right through his attempt to seem casual, and I nudge him.

"So, what was that letter about?" I cock my head to the side, trying to seem innocent. James chokes a little on his oatmeal.

"Nothing, really," he says, not looking me in the eye. "Just something from my mom." I know this is a lie, though; his mom doesn't send letters. When she broke it off with James's dad, she also broke off contact with him.

I bite the inside of my cheek and raise an eyebrow, about to say something sarcastic, but stop when I realize that it would hurt him if I pointed out that his mom doesn't care anymore.

"Oh," I say instead, giving him a half-hearted smile. "That's nice." He nods, looking into his bowl. I don't say anything else, just turn to face forward again. Carlos gives me a curious glance, but I just shrug; there's no point in worrying about it.

"Good morning, kids," I hear my mother say, and turn to see her walking out of her room. It's out of character for her to sleep in, but every once in awhile she does. Rubbing her eyes, she takes a seat beside of Carlos. He pats her back when she puts her head on the table.

"Dude," I say, poking her head. "Did you trade sleeping patterns with Kendall this morning?" I ask her, chuckling a little.

A door opens, and suddenly Kendall is standing there, looking just as tired as my mom.

James laughs. "Speak of the devil-"

"-and the devil shall appear," Kendall finishes for him, scowling. "Ha-ha, James, I'll have to write that one down, since it's just so original." He walks over to us and smacks James before taking the seat on the other side of him. Placing his head on the table, he mumbles something about being hungry.

"Well, make yourself some food, then!" I exclaim, exasperated. He groans and lifts his head.

"Mom, will you make me some food?" he asks our mother, whose face is still on the table.

She raises her head and narrows her tired eyes at him, wordlessly communicating that she will certainly not be making him any food. I snigger and he shoots me a glare before turning back to my mother.

"Know your place, woman!" he exclaims, slamming a fist onto the table.

Mom looks up and narrows her eyes. "Excuse me?" She runs her tongue along the inside of her cheek, indicating that she is getting pissed. Kendall's eyes widen and he gets up.

"I mean, I- uh, I'll make some oatmeal for myself!" he fumbles, walking into the kitchen. Mom's death glare follows him until he disappears around the corner. I nudge James in the ribs, and he gives me a curious look.

"Let's get out of here," I mouth. "I can't take them both being snappy." I nod at my mom, and realization dawns on his face. He winks at me and stands suddenly, stretching.

"Welp," he says, looking around at the table full of irritable people. "We'd probably better get out of here. Busy day ahead. Right, Katie?" His eyes widen at me, trying to hint that I should agree. I almost roll my eyes at his attempt to be subtle.

"Oh, yeah," I say, nodding vigorously, and stand. "I've got so many errands to run." I edge toward the door, snatching up my purse as I keep talking. "It's actually ridiculous how busy we're going to be today-"

James starts toward the door with me. He shrugs his shoulders. "Really wish we could hang here today…oh, well. Bye!" he exclaims, and we bolt out the door, panting when we lean against the wall outside of the apartment.

"Whew! Glad we got out of there in one piece." I wipe my brow in faux-weariness.

James slaps a hand against his thigh. "Damn it!"

"What?"

"Forgot my wallet!" He puts his hands on his head and leans against the wall. "Now what're we gonna do?" he asks, obviously not wanting to venture into 2J again. I sigh, amused by his frustration. I pull his wallet out of my back pocket, and his eyes widen.

"How did you-"

"Stole it out of your pocket when I hugged you this morning." I smile up at him, and he walks up to me, a sexy smirk on his face. He grabs his wallet from my raised hand, still looking into my eyes.

"Did I ever tell you that I find your thieving my

possessions quite hot?" I feel my eyebrows pull together in confusion; since when does James speak so eloquently? But I forget about my ponderings when he leans down to capture my lips in his.

I could never get tired of kissing James Diamond.

….

"Where are we going, James?" I ask as we speed down the highway in the BTR-mobile. He turns his head to glance at me before looking back at the road again.

A smile forms on his face as he says, "You'll see."

I begin to return the smile, feeling genuinely happy for the first time today, before I remember something.

_The letter_.

My stomach churns uneasily, although I have no idea why. James's suspicious behavior is probably the biggest cause for the perturbed feeling inside of me. I think that maybe he's not keeping it a secret because it's a bad thing; it could be something good, that he's waiting to unveil soon.

_On Valentine's Day_, my mind whispers, and my stomach completely flips. _That's it! That's what he's been hiding! It's a surprise for Valentine's Day! _

I suddenly feel warm on the inside, as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulder. I look over at James and smile, before kissing him on the cheek. He takes his eyes off of the road again, grinning over at me.

"What was that for?" he asks, brushing his hair out of his face.

I bite my lip. "Just 'cause."

He seems content with that answer, and sets his gaze back on the highway. I let the wind whip through my hair, thoughts of the letter now behind me.

…

"And here we are," James is saying as he pulls onto the shoulder of the road twenty minutes later. I look around, and see that the highway is deserted, as is the beach beside us. James gets out of the car, jumping over the side and landing agilely on the ground outside of the convertible. He brushes himself off, (which I really don't understand the point of), and leans over the door to pop the trunk. I look on curiously as he walks around the car to get something out of it.

James pulls a big picnic basket out and turns to smile widely at me. I just stand and stare at him, wondering if he could have made a more cliché move.

And then he pulls a bottle of sparkling grape juice out of the trunk. _Oh, that's original._

I regain my ability to speak. "Did you…did you plan this?"

He laughs. "Well, obviously." He steps toward me, setting the basket down on the ground. He lifts me up and I squeal with delight. " I thought you wouldn't want to stay at the Palm Woods all day, so I prepared it this morning. What do you think?" he asks, nodding toward the glittering ocean. I beam down at him and giggle.

"It is certainly a fantastic way to congratulate me for being such an amazing person," I joke, nodding as if I understand completely.

He doesn't laugh, and the smile has slipped off of his face. His brown eyes bore into mine. I feel slightly dizzy when I get lost in his gaze, and my face is slowly warming. We don't move, just stare at each other.

"You don't know how much I love you," he says breathlessly. For some reason, it sounds different this time; he's told me he loves me before, but has never seemed so sincere, and I've never loved him more than I do at this moment. I tilt my head down slowly to kiss him, his arms still holding me up. He lowers me to the ground, and runs one of his hands through my hair, lightly caressing my left cheek with the other. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling his heart and mine beating against each other.

He slowly untangles his hand from my hair, still brushing my cheek with his thumb, and pulls away from me. "Katie," he breathes, the corners of his lips turning up in a small smile.

"I love you," I say, and smirk up at him. "Can we go down to the beach now?" He nods and takes my hand, grabbing up the picnic basket. I get the bottle of grape juice, and we walk down to the shore.

Once down at the beach, James spreads a blanket over the soft sand, and we sit down, the waves lapping lightly at our exposed toes. He pops the cork from the grape juice bottle, and pulls out two glasses from the picnic basket. I narrow my eyes at him.

"Are these my mom's good glasses?" I ask playfully.

"What your mom doesn't know won't hurt her," he says, turning to pour two glasses of the sparkling juice. I giggle as he hands me a glass. "Well," he begins. "What should we toast to?"

I contemplate that for a moment. "Hmmm…how about we toast to…life," I state. James scoffs.

"Life?" he asks doubtfully.

I huff. "Well, I'm sorry I don't feel the need to toast to the cast of _Wicked_."

"Hey, now," he says defensively, holding up his index finger. "Idina Menzel is my hero."

I groan. "Are you sure you're in love with me? And not that gay guy from 5-A?" He pushes my shoulder lightly.

"Yes, I'm sure. How could I not be?" I blush at his words, and he notices. "What? Katie, you're beautiful, smart, funny, and stubborn. You don't glam yourself up before coming to the breakfast table just so I don't see you without any makeup on. You pretend you didn't cry while watching Titanic, even though I know for a fact that you did. You're just…Katie."

I smile sweetly up at him. "Well, aren't you one for corny speeches?"

He nods. "Yeah, I guess I am." He looks as if deep in thought for a moment, and then looks up, snapping his fingers. "Let's toast to love!" I give him an appreciative glance.

"That's a great suggestion. To love!" We clink our glasses together and take swigs of the grape drink. I begin to choke, the drink burning my throat as I do so. He whacks me on the back, and I subside into giggles. He begins to chuckle, too.

Soon enough our snickering becomes full-blown laughing, echoing against the high rocks to our left, reaching the deepest caverns beneath the sea, showing the whole world that we are happy, in love, and ready for anything that life wants to hand us.

**I'm so not used to writing James/Katie fluff. But I definitely appreciated the change of pace from Angst-O-Rama Drama. May have been a bit corny, but I hope it was cute. And I also hope you **_**enjoy it while it lasts**_**.**

**MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Peace, Love, and Killjoys,**

**Kaelynn**


	4. Valentine's Day and What Will She Say?

**Wow, I've begun updating daily again; hurray for picking up the pace!**

_It's Valentine's Day._

This is the first thought that pops into my head as I wake up, and I feel my stomach churn; something great is going to happen today, I can feel it. I jump out of my bed, not even caring that it's only eight o'clock, (and a Saturday).

I rifle through my closet for long enough to find the simple black sundress that I bought when Jo and I went shopping. Pulling it on, I stumble my way into the bathroom and grab my makeup bag.

Usually now I would call for Carlos to come help me, but I decide to just do my makeup myself. I work carefully about evenly applying eyeliner and mascara, before adding a light swipe of glittery brown shadow on my upper lid. Brushing blush across my cheeks, I pucker my lips at the mirror, before smiling and heading out the door. I think of what James said at the beach two weeks ago, about how I never make myself up for breakfast. I shrug to myself; surely one time can't hurt.

I walk to my door, preparing myself; this is our first Valentine's Day. Something special will happen today.

I thrust open the door, holding my breath, and enter the living room hesitantly. Kendall and the guys aren't sitting at the table, like I expected they would be, but on the couch, each holding a bowl of cereal. I peek at the TV to see a hockey game, and almost roll my eyes. I smile slightly and feel warmth toward them swell in me; those are my boys.

"Hey, guys," I say timidly, stepping forward.

For the first time, they look at me. Kendall smiles approvingly and nods.

"You look great, baby sis," he says, and turns back to the TV. Carlos and Logan agree with enthusiasm, Carlos commenting on how I didn't even need his help with my makeup. I do roll my eyes at this.

Holding my breath again, I look to see James's reaction.

He isn't wide-eyed, with his mouth hanging slack, like I thought he would be. On his face is a look I can't really place. After we've stared at each other for half a minute, it becomes clear: his expression is one of intense love, with a bit of desire. I blush when I think this, and bite my lip. James finally speaks up.

"You look…_amazing_," he says, his voice lacking sufficient breath on the last word. That causes me to blush more; James usually doesn't act like this right in front of Kendall, except when we're kissing.

"Really?" I ask him, and I don't even care about how pathetically hopeful my tone is; I just need confirmation.

James nods his head slowly, his eyes scanning my face. "Really." He stands and takes a few steps until he is standing right in front of me, until I can smell his aftershave. He places a hand on the side of my face and murmurs, "You're beautiful," and there is another look that I can't understand residing upon his handsome features. I take a deep, shaky breath, forgetting Kendall, Carlos, and Logan, and just kiss James. I wrap my arms around his neck and he puts his hands on either side of my face. I don't even remember where we are until I hear a few pointed coughs and Kendall groaning.

"What?" James asks defensively, turning on Kendall when we break apart. "Can't I kiss my woman?" His voice has taken on its silly James-tone again, the intensity from seconds ago nearly gone. But I don't care; I fell in love with the silly James.

"Just not in front of me," Kendall says. "Get the hell out of here if you're going to be playing tonsil hockey." James perks up at Kendall's suggestion.

"C'mon, Katie!" he exclaims, and pretends to grab me and pull me toward the front door. I laugh, as does he. We share a look again, the passion from moments ago restored.

I finally stop laughing long enough to ask Kendall a question. "So, what are you doing for Valentine's Day?"

James and Kendall look at each other, exchanging a quick glance. "Well," James says. "If you don't mind, we thought we'd all hang at the beach and have a picnic lunch." He pauses to wink at me, and I remember our picnic from two weeks ago. "Then, after that, we all go our separate ways." James hesitates before adding, unsurely, "Is that okay with you?"

A few weeks ago, I may have been angry about this plan; but now it seems utterly perfect, like all I could ever want to do for Valentine's Day. I nod vigorously, and then see Kendall out of the corner of my eyes, bouncing his knees and looking anxiously around the room. It suddenly hits me that normally he would have been furious to share his Valentine's Day with James and I.

I shove the thought away for later contemplation. James wraps his arms around my waist again, and I feel my chest nearly bursting with joy; this will be the best Valentine's Day ever.

…..

"Carlos, it's February! Stop splashing me!" Jo squeals as my best friend once again flings water all over her. I roll my eyes, smiling good-naturedly.

Kendall flips his sunglasses onto the top of his head, looking up at me. "Why'd we invite him again?"

"Because," I begin to explain again, making sure Carlos is out of earshot. "He's still not got a girlfriend…and I didn't want him to feel left out." I see Carlos run after a few seagulls, and then turn back around to ask Haile and Logan if they want to play a game of Frisbee. It's kind of heartbreaking, really; everyone just wants to be with their boyfriend or girlfriend, and Carlos has no one. I actually feel tears prick my eyes when I hear James say behind me, "He'll be okay."

I turn to him. "You think?" I ask, spinning back in the opposite direction again. James rubs my arm comfortingly.

"Yeah. He'll find someone."

We are silent after that, and he and I sit down on the towel beside Kendall and Jo, who are both lying on their backs and listening to the music spilling from the stereo. It's soft, melodic, and I recognize it as Kris Allen's "I Need To Know". Kendall absentmindedly draws in the sand beside him, and I peek at what he's written.

_Kendall + Jo K. _I wonder for a moment what he means by that, and begin to comprehend it when I hear Carlos laughing behind me.

"Drawing sex positions in the sand again, Kendall?" he asks, causing me to lose track of what I was thinking. Damn you, Carlos, I think.

Kendall's face colors immediately, and he sweeps a hand across his writing. "No," he says hotly. Jo looks up at him curiously, but he just shrugs as if to say, Hey, that's Carlos for you.

We all stay still for a while, just listening to the waves and seagulls. I think that we're all tired, after the feast of a picnic we just had.

I spot Haile and Logan walking down the beach, hand-in-hand. I lean back on James's chest, sighing contentedly, yet feeling my heart skip a few beats when I wonder what he has planned for later. I'm really getting too excited for all this Valentine's Day stuff. But maybe it's because I've missed so many of them already.

"What do you say about going on by ourselves, Jo?" Kendall suddenly asks the blonde laid against his chest, and she chuckles.

"That'd be fine, I guess," she says, getting up. She stands, brushing sand off of herself and blowing curls out of her face. "Where're we going?"

"That, my dear, is a secret," Kendall says with a knowing smile. Jo turns to gather up her towel and beach bag. I can't tell what my brother is thinking from the look on his face, but it perplexes me.

Kendall suddenly drops to one knee, and I think wildly that he must be tying his shoes. But then I realize that he has slip-ons, and I gasp. I stare at my brother, and all at once I comprehend what he's doing. My heart soars, and I feel myself break out in a huge smile.

Jo turns after hearing me, her expression confused at first, and then slowly understanding the situation as Kendall pulls a small velvet box out of his pocket.

"Jeez, Jo," he begins, rubbing his free palm against his shorts. My brother is more nervous than I've ever seen him. His skin tone is almost green, and he looks as if he's going to vomit. "I really wanted to do this somewhere nicer, without my family around, but I couldn't wait any longer." I turn back to glance at James excitedly, and see that his eyes are wide. He and I share a look, and I squeeze his hand.

"Kendall-" Jo begins, her eyes growing larger by the second.

Kendall snaps open the small box, revealing a sparkling diamond ring.

"Jo Taylor, will you marry me?"

**What will she say? Guess what, you won't know till tomorrow! Unless I can get...seven reviews before eight o'clock. And not from the same person. Hehe I love being evil.**

**I also love cliffhangers.**


	5. Hold Your Breath

**I am so happy! Twice as many reviews as I asked for? Dangg...**

**Welp, it isn't as long as I'd hoped...but, oh well, you'll deal :)**

There are times when earth seems to freeze, as if the globe is holding its breath in anticipation. Sometimes it's as if the whole world shares a collective gasp, waiting for the outcome of an occurrence. It's like when you tell the person you love how you really feel, or when you see an angry boyfriend holding a raised fist in front of your face; it feels like forever, that waiting, but when it's over it seems like it went faster than any other moment in your life.

That's exactly what it's like to watch my confident older brother, reduced to a nervous wreck, on one knee and holding out an engagement ring to his girlfriend. I look from her shocked face to his fretful one. He honestly looks more terrified than I have ever seen him.

Jo stands there, completely still, for an eternity that is really only a minute. Her blonde curls shine in the sun, and her eyes are wider than I've ever seen them. She takes a deep breath, and I hold mine, hoping that she'll say-

"Yes!" she exclaims, breaking out of her almost catatonic state. Her thousand-watt smile is running at full power, and her eyes sparkle with such life that I wonder if this isn't probably the happiest moment of her life. She flings her arms around Kendall's neck, and his face goes from greenish-gray to pink with asphyxiation. Jo pulls back from him, and I see several tears coursing down her cheeks. "We're gonna get married!" she says to him, as if he doesn't already know. She turns to James and I, her mouth trembling with the effort to hold back more tears. She sniffs. "We're getting married!"

It seems to finally hit my brother that she said yes, and Kendall stands suddenly. He picks her up, and I don't even mind that he's stealing mine and James's trademark move by holding the sides of her face and kissing her. I turn to my boyfriend, and both of our smiles are as wide as can be. I kiss his cheek as Kendall lets go of Jo. He slips the beautiful diamond ring onto her finger before raising her hand in the air.

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!" he declares to the world, and I think I see a few tears in his eyes. For the first time, I remember Carlos, Haile, and Logan, who are down the beach. I scan the shore for them, and spot them all running towards us.

Jo and Kendall are swept up in hugs and congratulations, and James and I decide to step back and let the others have their turn. James wraps his arms around my waist, resting his chin on top of my head as I smile at my brother and his fiancé. Both Kendall and Jo have expressions of utter joy on their faces, and I can identify with that; I don't know what I would do if James asked me to marry him.

"We should have an engagement party tonight!" Carlos exclaims excitedly, wringing his hands together. I think that over for a minute, and then decide that it's a good idea. We all nod in agreement, but Kendall and Jo look doubtfully at each other.

"But, what about your Valentine's Day?" Kendall asks James and me.

I wave a dismissive hand. "We'll have the party later. James and I can still have our Valentine's Day."

Kendall exhales slowly. "Well, okay. But, damn, Mom doesn't even know yet. This is moving so fast. And you know Mom's gonna be pissed when she finds out that I didn't do it while she was around." I laugh, and everyone else joins in. I can't help but think that, even though the excitement going on has nothing to do with me, this moment right here will be one of the happiest moments of my life. Everyone feels completely at peace with each other, and happy, and I wish we could freeze the world like this. I want so badly for everything to remain like this, and hope fiercely that it will.

**Short but sweet...and dang, you guys are great. Fourteen reviews in an hour? Heck, yes! You better review on this 'un too! lol But don't feel the need to...okay maybe you should feel the need to.**


	6. A Poem And A Party

**This is completely random, but who cares? While I was searching the BTRchive (hehe see what I did there?), I noticed something: there are a LOT of Jatie fics now. I had noticed it around the time I ended The Only Exception, and I want to take a minute to gloat to myself and say that I may have been a cause for the recent upsurge in Jatie popularity. When I posted TOE, there were two Jatie fics, (which were none too successful), and suddenly, bam! it's a Jatie asplosion.**

**So thanks to all reviewers and such. I love you guys, and please burst my bubble if you need to lol. I'm not really serious about taking credit for the Jatie uprisal. **

**So blah blah blah, let's get on with it, shall we?**

"I can't believe you wrote me a poem," I laugh as I head up to the apartment that night. James and I just got back from our Valentine's Day date, and I couldn't have been more pleased with how it turned out; a small dinner at my favorite little Chinese restaurant, and then a campfire down by the beach at sunset, where he read me an original poem that he wrote for me.

James blushes, and this fact alone surprises me; no one makes James Diamond blush.

"Awh, did I embarrass you?" I ask, and dance around him as we continue to walk down the hall. He swats at me playfully, looking at his feet and blushing even more deeply.

"No," he says, looking back up. "I just…didn't you like it?" His face is unsure and so completely vulnerable that I feel almost like crying. James isn't always the brightest bulb in the tanning bed, but he sure knows how to tug at my heartstrings.

I put a hand on the side of his face, and he finally meets my eyes. "Of course. I loved it, James. I love you." He reaches up to rest his hand on mine, and then smiles.

"I love you, too, Katie," he says, and I see something flicker behind his eyes. For the slightest moment, something flashes across his face, and I have no idea what to make of it. James parts his lips, leaning in, and kisses me. I can smell his aftershave again, which I love, and am nearly overcome with some foreign feeling that I can't describe. I reach up a hand and run it through his hair, forgetting about the brief look that I saw on his face.

"Can't you keep it in your pants for ten minutes?" a voice suddenly asks, and we break apart quickly to see Carlos standing beside us. I roll my eyes at him; why does everyone think James and I are having sex?

"Carlos?" I ask, putting a hand on my hip. "What are you doing?"

He raises his hands, which are gripping several two-liters of soda. "I'm on snack-duty for the engagement party. I'm headed down to the pool."

I slap a hand to my forehead; how could I forget? "Damn!" I cry out. "I almost forgot about that!" Carlos chuckles and shakes his head.

"Well, we had better get down to the pool," he says, walking past James and I toward the elevator. "Jo will kill us if we miss it." I nod at him, and grab James's hand.

"We'll be there. Give me five minutes!" I call after him, even though the elevator doors are closed. I pull James toward our apartment, where Carlos just came from.

Once inside, I tear into my room and throw my dress over my head and try to find something more party-appropriate. Scanning through my closet, I see a deep blue tube top with white swirl patterns on the front. I think for a minute before deciding on it, pairing the top with a long sleeved transparent one and grabbing a pair of skinny jeans.

As soon as I put my clothes on, I grab my knee-high leather boots and a thin white headband. I make my way to the door and stumble through it, while trying to put on my boots simultaneously. I hear a laugh, and look up to see James chuckling. He's wearing a fresh graphic t-shirt and lace-ups, wearing his signature smirk.

"What's so funny?" I ask. "Jo will kill me if I don't get there soon!"

"What's funny is that you are rushing around trying to put boots on and walk at the same time." He walks over to me and gently takes the leather shoes out of my hands, proceeding to place them on my feet.

"Now I really feel like Cinderella," I mutter to myself, smiling a bit.

When he finishes putting my boots on for me, I grab my keys and purse. We head out the door, and I lock it behind us. He takes my hand and kisses my cheek, but that won't do; I pull his face around and capture his lips in mine, and he runs his hands over my back.

In the elevator it is mostly silent, but that's just because our lips are a little to busy for conversation.

….

The party down at the pool is wild, loud, and absolutely insane.

Not meaning that there's anything dangerous going on; everyone's just dancing, splashing, and jumping around. Kendall and Jo are at the center, holding hands and smiling as my mother gently scolds my brother for not proposing while she was around. I laugh lightly, nudging James and pointing at them. He snickers and shakes his head.

"I'm going to miss your mom," he says fondly. I wonder for a moment what he means by that, but then shrug it off. I smile up at James, and he holds out an arm. "This way, m'lady?" I giggle, taking his arm, and James leads me onto the dance floor. A slow song comes on, and I wrap my arms around his neck. Placing his hands on my waist, he begins swaying back and forth in time with what I now recognize as "Hammers And Strings", by Jack's Mannequin. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, letting him lead.

After a few minutes, I peek over at Kendall and Jo, who have begun dancing much like James and I are. He has his arms all the way around her, and she has her head on his shoulder. I think that my brother couldn't have found a better girl to marry, and I feel affection for them swell in my chest. Tears prick my eyes, and James pulls back from me.

"Are you okay?" he murmurs, and I nod, wiping my eyes.

"Yeah," I tell him, and sniff. "I just got a little, you know, emotional…what with all this wedding stuff…" he gives me a knowing look and I narrow my eyes. "Tell anyone I cried and I'll kill you."

"No, you won't," he says softly, and grabs my face in his hands as "Hammers and Strings" comes to a loud, dramatic end. I lean in and kiss him, running my hands through his hair. He breathes my name, and I can't even tell how long we've been locked before he suddenly breaks from me.

He rubs his forehead and his voice has taken a peculiar tone as he says, "Hey, I have to go get something, Katie."

"Okay," I say, looking at him curiously, wondering what's up with him. "I'm thirsty, anyways. I'll go grab something to drink." I give him a last look before he sets off toward the Palm Woods, and head off toward the refreshment table sitting near the lawn chairs. I wonder absently how they convinced Bitters to let them do this, (after my birthday party, he swore that there would be no more cake in his pool). There isn't much time to dwell on this before James jogs back to me and hugs me tightly from behind. He rests his chin on the top of my head and whispers, "I love you, Katie," before kissing my hair. I am about to turn to him, but when I actually do he is no longer there.

I spin back to the refreshment table and grab a cup of punch, downing it in three seconds flat. I take a cookie and eat it slowly, spending a few minutes being alone and thinking. After five minutes, however, I've decided that the cookies made my throat dry.

I greedily grab two more cups of punch, also drinking them quickly, and feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Where's James, baby sis?" I hear Kendall ask from behind me.

"He went to go get something," I say with a shrug, and turn to him. I hold out a cup of punch. "Need something to drink?"

He takes it without hesitation and drains the cup. "Thanks," he says gratefully, and I nod at him. Kendall looks around before spotting something that interests him, and I follow his line of vision until I see that he's staring at Jo.

She catches his gaze out of the corner of her eye, still talking to some chick I don't even know, and winks at him. I gag in mock disgust.

Without looking at me, Kendall sighs. "You'll know someday, baby sister." I shake my head doubtfully.

"I don't know," I say, fake uncertainty marring my tone. "I don't think I'll ever understand why such a beautiful girl could pick…" I pause, looking him up and down, and let that hang in the air. He glares at me, and I lightly punch his shoulder. "Just kidding, big brother. I'm proud of you."

Kendall turns to look at Jo again, and sighs contentedly. "Thanks, Katie. Really." He crosses his arms and leans against the table. He makes an attempt at being sexy, winking at Jo and biting his lower lip. But soon enough, the table has taken all the weight it can handle, and collapses under him, causing him to land on top of a plate of cookies. I snort before busting into loud chuckles and giggles, and around us everyone goes into gales of laughter. Kendall blushes scarlet, picking himself off of the ground and muttering angrily about the 'damned table'. I see Jo bent over, tears running down her face as she cackles.

I help Kendall the rest of the way up and brush crumbs off of his back. "You know Bitters will kill you for this, correct?" I ask him, gesturing to the surrounding mess. He doesn't answer, just grumbles to himself.

Jo trots over to us, biting her lip and trying to hold back her snickers. Her hands are clasped behind her back as she gets on her tiptoes to kiss Kendall sweetly. He grins sheepishly.

"So you saw that?"

She snorts. "You bet I did, you big goof."

Kendall walks closer to her, snaking his arms around her small waist. He smiles wryly down at her and wiggles his eyebrows. "I guess my powers of seduction don't work from such long distances. Maybe if you were closer…" he trails off, and raises his eyebrows again. I point a finger down my throat and make gagging noises again.

"Oh, shut up, Katie," Jo says, and puts her hands on Kendall's shoulders. I roll my eyes at them, and remember my AWOL boyfriend, who has been gone for close to fifteen minutes.

"Hey, I'm gonna go find James," I say to Kendall, pointing behind myself. He doesn't look my way, just nods and leans down to Jo.

I turn away before I can see them kiss, and head into the Palm Woods lobby to see what James is up to.

**I also noticed something else about Katie and I that we have in common. If you read the prequel to this, you'll know that Katie thinks that ironic music is always at hand when times are tough for her, and I am here to infrom you that dramatic music has begun following me wherever I go. On Friday I confessed to my best guy friend that I really really like him. And today, (which started out awkward), my teacher was playing music, and one of the songs was like, "All I need is you." I literally groaned, as I'm not one for cornball crap like that (cept when I'm writing it), and I laid my heaad on my desk in hopelessness.**


	7. Boston

**I'm sorry, guys.**

It's another ten minutes before I can make my way up to the apartment.

Bitters caught me in the lobby, and now I'm listening to him rage at me, me, for having a party at the pool. I tried to explain in the beginning, but he wouldn't let me say anything. Now I just glare coolly at him, showing him that I could care less about the welfare of 'his pool'.

He's pointing at me, spittle flying from his mouth, screaming to the high heavens, and I finally speak up.

"Listen," I say, holding up a hand. "This isn't even my party. Kendall and Jo are engaged, and they wanted to have a party to celebrate. I'm sorry about my brother's lack of responsibility, blah, blah, blah." Bitters has stopped screaming by now, and cocks his head curiously at me.

"I wasn't invited," he states, looking slightly shocked.

"I wonder why!" I exclaim, and shove past him, stepping into the elevator, huffing. Not believing that I just wasted part of my life listening to that man talk, I press the button for our floor and wait out the ride patiently.

I hear a small dinging noise, which signifies that I've arrived at my floor. The doors slide open, and I step out into the hall. There is no sound, and I have to admit that it creeps me out; I've had a weird feeling about the hallways of the Palm Woods ever since watching The Shining when I was fourteen. I shudder slightly and hurry down the corridor, finally reaching 2J and flinging it open. I don't even notice that the door wasn't locked.

"James?" I call out. My voice echoes around the seemingly empty apartment, and I close the door behind myself as I step further into the room. "James?" I slide along the wall toward his room.

Slowly opening the door, I peek into his room. I edge in stealthily, seeing that his bedroom is unusually neat. I shrug it off, thinking nothing of it.

"James?" I call again, and there is no answer. My phone suddenly buzzes, and I scream. When I realize what the odd sensation in my pocket was, I pull out my phone and flip it open to see that Kendall is calling me. I breathe a sigh of relief and press the send button to answer. "Hello?"

"_Did you find James yet?" _Kendall asks from the other end. I laugh weakly.

"Nope," I tell him, walking towards James's closet. "I think he's hiding from me."

I hear Kendall chuckle. "_Okay, sure he is. Look out the window at what Carlos did_." I shake my head and turn around, walking over to the window and pushing the curtain aside.

I burst out laughing when I see a sopping-wet Bitters lecturing Carlos, shaking a finger at him, much like he was at me a few minutes ago. I roll my eyes.

"Oh, wow," I say, rubbing my forehead. I call over my shoulder, "C'mon, James! You have to see this!"

"_You still haven't found him_?" Kendall asks, disbelief evident in his voice.

"No," I huff, crossing my arms and turning away from the window. I spy his closet again and smile. "He's hiding in the closet, I think."

Before I realize what I just said, Kendall cracks up. "_Well, tell him to 'come out of the closet', then_!" I shake my head and walk over to the sliding door, pulling it open.

"Shut up, Kend-" I begin, but stop suddenly when my eyes absorb what is in front of me. I walk into the closet, my mouth opening in surprise. _What the hell?_

"_What is it_?" I ignore his question.

All of James's clothes are gone. I turn around and around in the closet, taking in the bare walls and shoe rack.

"It's gone," I breathe, and my heart beats so loudly that my eardrums feel as if they'll burst. What happened to his clothes? My mind spins, and I'm starting to feel dizzy with confusion. I know that my reaction to this is strange, but I can't help the dread that curls in my stomach.

"What's gone, Katie? What-" I drop the phone in the middle of my brother's sentence, cutting him off. I shake my head, as if to clear it, and walk out of the closet and over to James's dresser. Maybe he just donated some of his clothes to Goodwill, I think, trying to be rational. I pull open one of his drawers, holding my breath.

It's empty as well.

I spin suddenly, wondering what's going on. "_JAMES_!" I shout. My mind is spinning more than ever, a headache forming. I wonder if maybe he's decided to move to another apartment, or take his clothing to get dry-cleaned, or-

That's when I notice it.

A piece of paper, folded neatly, sits on James's bed. My heart plummets downward, past the floor, down to the basement, and beyond.

I don't know how, but I can tell that I'm meant to read it. I cross the room, taking only three steps to get to his bed, and snatch the paper up off of the bedspread. I begin to read the letter that will change my life with the three words at the beginning:

_Katie, I'm sorry._

My mind scrambles frantically, trying to connect the absence of his attire and the three simple words. I look down the paper, hoping to find answers.

_I had to do it. It's such a huge opportunity, and I can't just pass it by. I know you'll hate me for it, but I had to do it for me._

_Something's been bothering me, something I couldn't figure out until now: I have to get out of L.A., or I'm never going to. I need to see the world, and do other things besides sing to a bunch of teenage girls. And I'm starting with this._

_I got a modeling job in Boston; I'm the new spokesperson for a company that's moving its headquarters there- SPOKESPERSON! Can you believe it? _

_I love you, Katie, I really do, but in a way I think this will be the smartest thing I've ever done…I don't think I can be in a relationship with you anymore. You are so amazing, beautiful, and smart…but I can't deal with that right now, okay? I'm moving to Boston, and I have to forget about my life here in L.A. I want to start fresh. _

_I'm going to miss you guys. Tell Kendall and the guys that I'm sorry, and also your mom. I'm so, so sorry it had to end this way. But if I had done it in person you or Carlos or someone else would've convinced me to stay. You know that all my life I've wanted to be two things: a singer and a model. Well, now I can have both of my dreams fulfilled!_

_Katie, I love you, don't forget that. But I'm breaking up with you. I have to go to Boston with no strings attached. Who knows, the love of my life may be there. Hell, it could be anywhere; but I'm never going to find out unless I look._

_I'm sorry,_

_James_

My head aches violently and my throat is dry. I grip the letter tightly in my hand, reading it over again, my vision blurring as tears form in my eyes. I don't understand exactly what the letter means right now; I just know that James is gone, and I can't help but repeat one line in my head over again: _Who knows, the love of my life may be there. _

My stomach churns and I place a hand over my mouth, lurching forward with the urge to vomit.

_I'm not the love of his life._

Through the haze in my mind, I remember my phone, lying on the floor, and pick it up, my fingers fumbling over the keypad before dialing James's number. I dizzily place it to my ear and hear it ring several times, before I hear his voice informing me that he can't take my call right now.

'_At the tone, record your message', _the electronic woman on the other side of the line instructs me. I feel all of the life leave my body then, and sink to floor. I begin to sob hoarsely, my makeup running in tracks down my face, and I pull at my hair. I hear a quiet beep, and place the phone back to my ear.

"_Why couldn't you take me with you_?" I ask miserably into the receiver, and there's no sound, no voice assuring me that this is a practical joke, all fun and games, and that James just wanted to move to a new apartment complex. "_I love you- why couldn't you TAKE ME WITH YOU?" _I wail, and I've never heard such a heartbroken sound leave me before; not even when Zack hit me, not all of that abuse put together, could cause me to make such a sound. I throw the phone to the floor and put my face in my hands, my breath hitching and a fresh wave of weeping overcoming me.

_Who knows, the love of my life could be there._

_I'm breaking up with you._

_I don't think I can be in a relationship with you anymore._

_Who knows, the love of my life could be there._

These things repeat themselves in my mind, which is aflutter with spontaneous thoughts and memories. One moment I see James and I at the beach when he set up the picnic; the next I see Zack; and then, finally, my mind decides to rest on one image, one that will torture me more than any other: the magazine cover of James and I kissing in the rain, at the exact moment that we fell completely in love with each other.

I hear running footsteps, and look up suddenly, feeling a smile on my face. "James?" I ask excitedly, and stand, sprinting to the door and looking eagerly out. I toss the letter behind me. My chest swells with immense hope, and I wipe hurriedly at my eyes.

"Katie?" someone asks, and Kendall and Jo round the corner to James's room. Kendall grabs me by the elbows as I rush out. "Katie, are you okay?"

"Is James with you?" I ask hopefully, and Kendall looks confused. He shakes his head slowly.

"I thought you were looking for him…" he trails off, and then puts his hands up in the air. "Wait, what's going on?"

I don't hear his question, though. As soon as he shook his head, my heart burst wide open and spilled its contents until there was nothing left inside. I clutch at my chest, dry heaving and beginning to cry again. Kendall's eyes widen, and he grabs my shoulders.

"What is it, Katie?" he asks, and I see Jo walk over and pick up James's letter. She begins reading it, moving her lips as she squints her eyes in confusion. Her face suddenly pales, and she puts a shaking hand over her mouth. She holds it out to Kendall.

"Jo? What's wrong?" he asks, eyeing the letter as if it's diseased. She shakes it a little, a tear slipping down her face. Kendall takes the paper, moving his lips like Jo did, but then stops. His mouth is hanging open, and he looks over the letter a few more times before pulling out his cell phone. He punches in a number and then places the phone to his ear, scanning the paper in his hands another time. I hear a faint ringing, and then it suddenly ceases.

"Hello?" Kendall asks, and there is a pause before he shouts, "_WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"_

I feel my eyes widen as I register whom my brother is speaking with. Kendall puts a hand on his hip and clenches his teeth.

"I don't care if you're sorry, James," he hisses, slamming his hand onto his thigh. "What is wrong with you? We're in the middle of releasing an album! You've got family and friends here!"

There is another pause, and Kendall's face is disgusted. "Just shut up. Forget about the album, James. What about my baby sister?" I choke back a sob and go at Kendall, grabbing for the phone.

"LET ME TALK TO HIM!" I shriek, my voice shrill and scratchy. Kendall pulls his phone away from his ear.

"Hello?" he asks, putting it to his head again. He looks at the screen again before shaking his head. "Damn coward hung up." Kendall looks at the phone for another second, before suddenly turning and chucking it against the wall. "He's already on the plane," he mutters, and I can't take it anymore. I collapse, reduced to nothing more than a weeping mess. Memories of us are once again flashing through my mind, and I begin to sob again.

After everything we went through last year; the Jennifer incident, the paparazzi attack, and, worst of all, Zack. After everything we went through last year, he's leaving me now. I cough and wail, wondering if anyone on this Earth has ever been this miserable. I may sound melodramatic, but I could care less.

I slowly stand and try to walk on wobbly legs to my room. I get to James's door, and then lean against the wall before sliding down it, placing my face in my trembling hands. Jo and Kendall have left without me noticing, and I lie on my side on the cool beige carpet. Something occurs to me, and only makes me cry harder.

"It's Valentine's Day, though," I whimper, as if trying to explain to God that this is all wrong, that he needs to undo it now. I slam a hand on the wall and clench my other fist, cursing James in my head and then out loud. "You son of a bitch, I HATE YOU!" I shout and collapse into tears once more, pouring my heart onto the floor and muffling my sobs into the carpet.

**I'm sorry.**


	8. Sick Inside And Out

**I'm an awful person, just so you know. I'm sorry about lack of updates. Read the chapter and continue to the A/N for a full apology.**

"Katie," I hear a voice as I wake up. A hand gently shakes me, and my eyes fly open.

I take in my surroundings, realizing that the room is pitch-black, my clock reading 3:32. I realize that I'm in my bed, covers thrown off of me. The person seated next to me shakes me again, and I feel an ounce of irritation.

"I'm up, damn it," I say with a yawn, and sit up. "What d'you want, James?"

When the name slips from my lips, and I recognize who is on my bed, I feel pressure build behind my eyes. How could I have forgotten how he-

I feel my stomach lurch, and sprint to the bathroom with a hand covering my mouth. Making it just in time to vomit, I feel two strong hands holding back my hair, and another pair patting my back. I wipe my mouth, coughing, and sit down on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, resting my head against the toilet and seeing that I have not just one visitor, but two.

"Where's Kendall?" I ask tearfully, and Logan looks over at Carlos.

"He's with Jo in his room," Carlos explains, taking a seat on the floor across from me. "She didn't want to go back to her apartment, you know?" He glances at Logan, who in turn sits down across from me as well.

I feel tears begin to fall down my face swiftly, and look up at the ceiling. I curse under my breath, seeing Carlos's eyes go wide, and slam a fist onto the bathroom floor. "It wasn't a dream, was it? I was hoping so badly that it was a dream."

Carlos speaks up quietly, looking down at the floor with a somber expression on his face. "No. It wasn't." To my shock, I see tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Katie."

I glance at Logan, who is staring at the wall with a hard expression on his face. Slowly, his face becomes angrier, and he puts his face in his hands.

"You know he was going to be best man, right?" Logan asks, and I flinch, feeling pained and slightly surprised. He looks up at me with red-rimmed eyes, and clenches his teeth. "I mean, what kind of _asshole_," he begins venomously, and I'm shocked to hear the swearword leave his mouth, "does that? Just packs up and leaves when his best friend is getting married? And what about you?" he asks no one in particular. "James told you he loved you, right? I mean, why would someone do that to someone they love?"

"He said he needed to get out of L.A.," I whisper, trying to make excuses for James. I choke back a sob, and Logan's mouth twists up in a bitter grimace.

"Well, he's always been a selfish, inconsiderate piece of-"

"_Logan."_

I turn to look at Carlos, who has spoken. He shakes his head at his best friend, a disbelieving expression apparent on his face.

"Now is not the time, man," he tells Logan. Turning back to me, he pats my knee. "Can you leave me alone with Katie for a minute?"

Logan looks between the two of us, hesitating before standing up and leaving the room. There is the soft patter of his footsteps against the floor, and then a soft click as he shuts my door.

"Katie," Carlos says. "I'm sorry." Feeling a faint sting in my heart, I close my eyes.

"When did you find out?" I ask him, wiping my face and ignoring his statement.

He sighs. "Right after it happened." Pausing, Carlos wipes his hand on his pant-leg. "James shouldn't have done that, shouldn't have left us…left _you_."

My chest feels hollow, oddly empty, and in the silence after his sentence I begin to cry, to really cry. I sit, hugging my knees to my chest, and make a sudden squealing noise as I draw in my breath. I exhale slowly, tears coursing down my cheeks and neck, a low moaning noise escaping my throat. Carlos, his expression pained as he takes in my reaction, enfolds me in a hug. He pats my back as he tries to comfort me with meaningless words.

"It's okay, Katie, it's okay to cry," he says, pulling away and placing two hands on my shoulders. "Everything will be fine, just take your time."

I summon enough breath to stutter out what my mind is screaming. "I cuh-couldn't possibly take my time…I can't c-cry _forever_." Feeling my face crumple again, I hiccup slightly. "I mean, how much of this can I take?" I wonder aloud, not directing my words at Carlos. He shakes his head anyways, frowning sadly.

"I don't know," the boy sitting across from me says, looking into my eyes. "I can't really…can't really say anything that will ease the pain right now…but, if it helps, you never deserved any of it, Katie."

I put a hand over my mouth, my tears starting up again, and silently weep at his words. I cry for everything that's ever happened to me, everything that's happening to me now, and all of the heartache that I'll inevitably endure in the coming months.

…_.._

_The terminal at the Boston airport is crowded, and he can barely see anything due to the packed and bustling bodies making their way around the massive building. He sets his luggage on the ugly blue carpeted floor, looking around and trying to decide what his next move is. _

_Squinting, he suddenly spots it, what he's been looking for all this time- a man in black, with a sign that says, simply, 'Diamond.'_

_He looks back over his shoulder one last time, before picking up his bags and moving from one chapter of his existence to the next._

**So there it is. Too short for my liking, a kind of cliche ending...but at least it's done. After two weeks of cheerleading, band, intense Round Robin studying, choir, and a nasty case of the dreaded Writer's Block, there it is. I'm SO sorry, and want to tell you that the updates will probably come weekly now, instead of the previous pattern of three days or so. I have no idea how I managed that, but hey, I wasn't as busy then.**

**Okay, now that this apology's over, I want to ask you something. Have any of you seen the movie 'Keith', starring Jesse McCartney and Elisabeth Harnois? IT'S AMAZING! I used to think Jesse McCartney was gay, until I saw that movie.**

**Reviews are welcome, and yes, this story will be continued. I felt so bad when a reviewer asked me that.**


	9. Four Months Later

**I. Am. So. Freaking. Sorry.**

**I haven't updates in, what, two months? Gosh, that's just...awful, I'm so sorry.**

**I hit a terrible wall...I couldn't think of ANYTHING when I tried to write at all, much less with this story alone.**

**Thankfully when I started my new Glee multi-chapter fanfic a week or so ago, I seemed to break through said wall, and here I am (don't kill me).**

**I'm SO SO SO sorry.**

**Again, I'm sorry.**

**I apologize for all my apologizing in this ridiculous A/N.**

**ANYWAYS...this first little section right here is just a kind of prologue to Katie's experiences, post-James. AND ONCE AGAIN I REMIND YOU THAT SHE IS **_**NOT**_** TO BE COMPARED TO BELLA FROM TWILIGHT. Gosh, I hate how she acts in that movie when Edward leaves...but here you go:**

_Sometimes I dream of him._

Whether it is just one of those dreams that feels like five minutes, or one that is excruciatingly lengthy, they all hurt just the same.

Most of the time, the dreams are merely memories that my mind chooses to replay over-and-over again; the Fall Ball, our day at the beach, Valentine's Day…

But mostly I dream of the night that I accidentally spilled my secret.

There's something oddly comforting in the memory that I can't quite explain. Usually when I have this dream, I wake up in the early hours of the morning and often find myself going over my life from that point to the present, wondering what I did in that space of time that would make him think it was okay to just leave me like he did.

I'm going to go ahead and admit that I cry after such contemplation, and not just a few tears; it's usually more like silent, choked sobs, which leave me gasping for breath and fearing asphyxiation. Once, soon after he James left, I wasn't being particularly quiet, and Carlos heard me. He came into my room, sat on my bed, and held my hand, and when I was finished he spent the night in my room.

I try not to think so hard that it causes tears, but sometimes I can't help it. I can't help wondering why he thought it was okay to leave. I can't help trying to find some kind of comfort in this mess.

I can't help missing him.

...

**4 MONTHS LATER**

"Oh, Jo, it's beautiful!" my mother gushes to my soon-to-be sister-in-law. She walks around the statuesque blonde, nodding in approval as Jo blushes.

My brother's fiancée is wearing the same gown that she sat staring at four and a half months ago. I, too, admire the dress as she spins around a few times, the net fabric below the midriff catching the light of the luminous bridal shop. It's almost sparkling as much as Jo's eyes, which shine with excitement and anticipation. She smiles over at Mom, who has just seen the dress for the first time.

My breath catches in my throat as I think this. I try to shake off the thoughts that flood my brain at that exact moment, but they come anyway, shoving past the happiness that occupied my mind only seconds ago.

Kendall and Jo postponed some of the wedding stuff after the Valentine's Day Incident. The therapist suggested that I try not to get too caught up in all the romance and giddiness and that the family focus on my needs for a while.

Yeah.

A _therapist_.

It's not that I don't like talking to Dr. Bennett; believe me, he's the only person I really talk to anymore about James. It's just that I think my mom went a little too far in suggesting therapy.

Looking at my mom now, I can see a slight, barely noticeable difference in her demeanor, in her eyes. There is a thin veil of weariness and sadness on her face, and I can't help but think that she would do well with some therapy for herself. James hasn't contacted anyone of us, at all, since he left, and his radio silence is taking its toll on everyone.

Everyone has been acting like I'm the only one who's been hurting lately, and it almost makes me sick to my stomach. What I really want to do is scream to the world, or even just the Palm Woods.

James's sudden abandonment is killing my family.

I pretend that I don't notice that Kendall, Carlos, and Logan never go to play hockey anymore. I pretend that I don't see the loss in Mom's eyes when she talks affectionately about 'her boys', or notice how on edge and temperamental she has been. I pretend that everything will be fine, that everyone will go back to normal and go on with life, without James. I pretend that, even though four months have passed, my family will manage to sew itself back together and be happy once again.

I pretend that I'm not alone.

….

I have decided that I now hate Augustana with a passion.

Not only did they record the song that was playing at the Fall Ball when James told me he loved me, but that little ode was also entitled "Boston". And not only that, but many of their other songs are about either heartbreak or love, which I can barely listen to music about anymore.

That is the reason I'm seated on my bed, deleting all love songs off of my iPod and iTunes account. Yeah, you'd think I'd have gotten around to this already in the past sixth months, but I've mostly been relying on mix CDs and angry anthems from My Chemical Romance albums.

I click on the last Augustana song left, and with something sort of like an evil laugh, I delete it. Feeling slightly ashamed, I move on to Big Time Rush songs, because A: half of their songs are declarations of love set to music, and B: I can't stand to hear James's voice. There's only one song of theirs that I keep; the ballad they wrote for me back in the fall, after catching Zack in the process of beating me. I can't bring myself to forget that Kendall and Logan wrote it for me, and deleting it would be almost like performing some sort of heinous, tainted act of disrespect.

So "Katie" stays. For now.

For some reason, I hesitate as the mouse's pointer hovers over "Til I Forget About You". There is minimal James in the song, and you can barely even tell he participated in the recording; there is no feature, solo, anything that really makes me think of him, (besides the ludicrously ironic way that the song fits my current situation). I choose to keep it against my better judgment.

As I am scrolling through the four hundred or so songs left on my worn-out iTunes account scanning for putrid love songs, my door opens, and Haile and Jo enter. I look up at them, and then back down at the computer in my hands.

"Hi," Jo says, putting emphasis on the single syllable that she's uttered, as if I didn't notice her entering the room.

"Hey." My voice is monotonous, bland. I spot "Fire", by Augustana, still hidden in the ranks of my library, and mutter, "Damn it."

"Um," Haile begins, and over the computer screen I see her and Jo exchange glances, "we were wondering if you wanted to come to the pool with us."

I delete Lifehouse's "You And Me", and say simply, "Can't."

They look at each other again, their expressions worried. Jo mouths, _I told you_, and Haile nods grimly, her blonde bun bobbing at the nape of her neck. She and Jo whisper to each other, attempting discretion. I set the computer beside myself and huff angrily.

"What the hell are you two whispering about over there?" I ask, getting off of the bed. I place my hands on my hips. "'Cause if it's me, you can just traipse out the same way you just traipsed in without knocking."

Instead of the mild shock I expected, Jo seems slightly irritated by my antagonism. As if mirroring me, she puts her hands on her hips and walks up to me.

"I don't believe that anyone asked for your input," she says, smiling faux-sweetly and raising her eyebrows. "_You_," she pauses to point at me, as if I'm that intellectually deficient, "are going to the pool," she says, pointing out the window, "with _us_." She gestures toward herself and Haile, who is nodding vigorously.

I clench my fists. "No," I begin slowly, no anger in my voice this time. "I am staying here. In the apartment. With myself."

She sighs. "Well, if you must. But I swear, if you don't come out of this room some time in the near future, I will drag you out. By your toes."

"Fan-_tastic_," I drone with no emotion. "Now, if you're done trying to cheer me up with ridiculous plans involving sitting at the pool watching couples make out, you guys and your boytoys included, I have things to do." I indicate the computer lying on my bedspread, and sit down.

Haile smiles. "Kendall and Logan aren't going to be with us at the pool. They are going to be there, but they're helping Carlos with some plan to get a girl."

I stand up again, quickly. "What? There's a new girl? And Carlos is planning to woo her? And he didn't tell me?"

Jo holds up both hands. "Carlos is planning to get a girl. Yes. Yes. And I guess not, if you don't already know," she says, a smile forming at the corners of her mouth as she answers my questions.

"You could come watch with us," Haile suggests nonchalantly, shrugging. I hate to admit it, but that does sound like something entertaining, even though I might have to leave if things get to romantic.

I narrow my eyes at her, but walk out of the room. I hear Jo mutter, "Told you that would work," and scowl, but leave with them anyways.

….

Fifteen minutes later, I really wish that I wouldn't feel remorseful if I just slaughtered Haile and Jo on the spot.

Carlos's plan doesn't turn out to be very wacky, which, by the way, gives me the heebie-jeebies. Since when do the guys' plans not involve nets or British accents?

Instead of the aforementioned elements usually involved in my brothers' schemes, Carlos's plan seems to entail nothing more than Kendall strumming a ukulele while he himself serenades the girl.

And as soon as Kendall begins playing the ukulele, I have two questions in my mind.

One: what did I do to deserve this?

Two: when the _hell_ did Kendall learn to play the ukulele?

But those questions don't matter. All that matters is that they are playing a cover of NeverShoutNever's "Your Biggest Fan", and I really want to kill Jo and Haile right about now. Not only is it incredibly sappy, but it was James's shower song for two years straight, and he used to sing it constantly. I find myself shocked at Carlos's callousness, seeing as how he used to hear me talk about it relentlessly, before reminding myself that this is my first time down at the pool in four months. He probably didn't expect me to be here.

The slim, pretty, dark-haired girl that he's singing to seems elated by his song choice; I, however, have a hard time holding back tears as the chorus begins.

"_I am running _

_Out of words to say to you_

_Wondering why I'm wasting my ti-i-ime_

_Thinkin' back and_

_Wond'ring why I'm_

_Such a fool_

_For lovin' yoooouuuu_."

The song, which sums up the way I felt about James before we got together, makes my heart feel like it's breaking. Since the day after he left, I haven't really cried in front of anyone, save Jo and Carlos, but now I feel tears spilling from my lashes and swiftly down my face.

Jo, who is watching Carlos with a smile on her face and standing about ten feet away from me, glances at me out of the corner of her eyes, before doing a double take. She must have noticed that I was crying, because she rushes over.

"Oh, _Katie_," she says, brushing my hair back. "I'm sorry. We shouldn't have-"

"Damn right you shouldn't have," I say angrily, brushing furiously at the tears on my face and smacking her hand away. I stand up, glaring at her and Haile, before shaking my head. "Did you know what song he was going to sing?"

Jo hesitates. "Yes." Her voice is confused, as if she doesn't quite understand. "But why are you crying?"

By now Carlos has stopped singing, and everyone at the pool is staring at us, some people whispering. I look around at everyone, shooting them scathing looks.

"Well, maybe because James used to sing it all the time," I say sardonically. "It could be- well, I'm not sure, but it could be because I used to talk to you and Carlos about it _all the freaking time _before we got together, about how I loved that song and the way he sang it. If you remember correctly, I used to absolutely _fawn_ over that song." My voice is unsteady and unnaturally high-pitched, my face distorted with sorrow. I clench my fist and raise it weakly, biting my lip before looking at Carlos, who is looking at me, concerned. "I'm sorry, Carlos. I…I ruined your song. I'm just…gonna go now." The latter part of my sentence is choked.

I run from the pool area, thinking as I do it that I am a huge mess; honestly, I can't even hear a song he used to sing? That's pretty pathetic in itself, without me shouting at Jo and throwing a fit. I feel guilt and regret course through my veins.

I experience slight déjà vu when I throw open the lobby door and run to the elevator. How many times have I done this? _Too many_, I decide in my head as I press the small number 2 and the elevator doors whoosh closed.

_Four months, and I just now had a public breakdown_, I think as the elevator travels upward.

_Well_, the cynical side of my mind whispers, my head beginning to ache sickeningly, _it was bound to happen sooner or later._

**This wasn't nearly as good as you guys deserve for waiting so long. I am sorry.**

**And if you watch Glee and support Kurt/Blaine, I started a fic about them, that's different than the others out there. It's called The Love Dare, and it's about a year after they've been dating, and they are having MAJOR trouble. They are on the cusp of breaking things off when Mercedes gives Kurt 'The Love Dare', which is a book that actually exists. If you've seen the Christian movie 'Fireproof', you'll know what it is.**

**SORRY! I had to say it again. No more breaks like that, ever, without updating.**


	10. Reed

**I would really quick like to say thanks to everyone who didn't get mad cause of my lack of updating.**

**...**

Jo and I haven't spoken in the past two days.

And it's really bothering Kendall; I can tell from the look on his face when I make the excuse of 'having to go to work' when he tells me Jo is coming to the apartment. The truth is, I _did _get a job last month. But my shift doesn't begin until four, and it's only one o'clock.

As I walk idly through the mall's first floor, I can't help but want to talk to Jo; Carlos has been off with Emma for the past two days, and I really don't have anyone else to discuss things with. Usually, whenever I have a meltdown, I go either to her or Carlos; but now, with her not speaking to me, and him hanging out with his new girlfriend, I don't have anyone to talk to.

I don't like it at all.

…

There are a few good things about working at Hot Topic. Coming in first would probably have to be the loud, anti-love music and scary customers; it's almost impossible to think about what happened four months ago, and I am slowly becoming more comfortable in the small store than I am in my own home.

"Katie," my supervisor says, causing my train of thought to derail and go crashing into the floor. I snap to attention; Bradley doesn't like when I slack, and I'm terrified that he'll tell our manager. Even though he's quite the slacker himself, I don't dare say anything to him, for fear of being fired. If I didn't get to come here everyday, I'd lose my mind, so I really don't want to be trying to escape reality while standing in the unemployment line.

"Yeah?" I ask, and he raises an eyebrow at my quick answer.

He brushes his red fringe out of his eyes. "Can you go re-fold the Never Shout Never t-shirts? And then arrange them by price, okay? Thanks." Turning back to his book, Bradley takes a sip from his large coffee mug with a haughty smile on his pierced face. I grit my teeth against a million smartass remarks that pop into my brain at that moment.

"Yes, master," I mutter on my way to the t-shirt wall.

"What was that?" he asks, cocking his eyebrow again, and pursing his lips in disapproval.

"I said, 'you're a bastard'," I quip. Screw my job, I think. This is the best I've felt about myself in six months.

"Hey!" Bradley exclaims in anger. He stands up quickly, knocking over his coffee mug and swearing. I laugh on the inside, because the dark liquid is seeping into the box of leather skull belts that was delivered yesterday; the manager will almost certainly be taking that out of his pay. I make my way back over to the shirts, dreading the process of arranging them by price.

Ten minutes later, I am knee-deep in alternative band t-shirts, frantically trying to put them in order by glancing at price tags. I sift through the piles of clothing, getting all riled up and about to scream. My face is as red as a beet, and if I weren't so stressed I'd be laughing at the hopeless expression that I can picture on my features right now.

Thankfully, my phone vibrates in my pocket, saving me from this cotton hell, and I pull it out. I am happy to see that it is Logan texting me, asking if I want to play beach volleyball with Haile and himself later. I nod to myself, typing in a quick reply that accepts their offer.

I go into a sort of daze right after that, actually starting to get some work done and moving like a robot. I've been doing that a lot lately, going all KatieBot and into autopilot mode. In these dazes, much like the moments after I wake up at night, I tend to go off and think about everything that's happened in the past year, my heart stinging a bit more each time I conjure up a crystal-clear image of my former love.

After James left, my social life took a complete dive, which is probably why I'm standing knee-deep in t-shirts. I stopped going out, unless it was with one of the guys. I graduated, and many of the people I went to school with have moved on with their lives and left the Palm Woods. And now I work at a Hot Topic, with a jackass for a supervisor.

In all honesty, I'm miserable.

…

After my shift is over, I decide not to risk going home and seeing Jo, so I decide to walk around the mall. I do this a lot nowadays, even though it's probably not good for my fragile sanity to watch sickeningly-sweet couples walk around with their fingers intertwined.

I wonder around in front of the escalator, trying to decide where to go. I figure that, since I've been working for over a month now, I should treat myself. So I walk into the bright record store beside Hot Topic and peruse the shelves for some good, loud, angsty rock.

Annoyingly enough, some kid has picked up a Big Time Rush CD and left it carelessly in the rock section. I roll my eyes and toss it on the floor, trying to keep from glancing down at it every few minutes and seeing James's face. The employee who is shelving CDs a few feet away looks at me as if I've lost my mind, but I just roll my eyes and kick it under the rack behind me.

"Excuse me, miss?" the employee asks with an uneasy smile on his face. "Could you pick that up and put it in the designated place?"

I feel slightly ashamed for the childish fit I just threw, and smile at him. "Yes, I'm sorry. I've just had a…bad day." More like a bad year, my mind quips, but I pick up the CD anyways and walk over to the pop section.

As I place it carefully with the other Big Time Rush records, a hand is extended to me, and at the end of it is a CD with two bloody people on it.

"Here," the employee says. He brushes his slightly shaggy blonde hair out of his face. "This is kind of my go-to when I'm angry. Helps me get out all my rage." The emphasis he puts on the last word is hilarious, and I giggly lightly.

"Thanks," I say. "But I have this." I hand 'Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge' back to him, trying to come up with the odds of him giving me my go-to when I'm angry.

"Oh," he says, slightly deflated. "Well, I am usually good at trying to predict what kind of music people will like."

"Probably because of the section they're standing in."

He furrows his brow, crossing his muscular arms over his polo and blue smock. "I never thought about it that way. Damn it, that means I'm _not_ psychic!" He seems honestly upset with this revelation, and I laugh.

"Not necessarily," I tell him. I'm getting dangerously close to flirting with him, so I tone down my cutesy attitude. "Maybe you are. Try to read my mind."

"Hmmm." Putting a finger to his chin, he smiles wryly. "You are thinking about how handsome I am, and how you'd like to go to dinner with me."

I inwardly groan. "No, actually. I'm not really dating right now," I say coldly, the atmosphere dramatically different. I wonder if I can possibly talk to any guy without him coming onto me.

"Oh, I'm not interested, honey," he says with a laugh. "Believe me, you aren't my type."

Bristling slightly at that, I run my tongue along the inside of my cheek. "Oh, yeah? Then what is?"

"Tall. Muscular. Usually has a flat chest, as opposed to breasts."

I crinkle my eyebrows, before widening my eyes in realization.

"Oh," is all I say.

"Yeah," he begins. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable, there. You're gorgeous, of course, but once again…"

"Boobs," I finish inelegantly. "Right."

"Right."

We stand there, the air thick with awkwardness. I shift uncomfortably, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"Well, this is quite uncomfortable," he says, and holds out a hand. "My name is Reed. I am nineteen years old, with a passion for music. In my spare time I obsess over several artists including but not limited to John Mayer and Panic At The Disco."

"Wow, I'm pretty sure you just made an outline for your autobiography." Reed laughs at this, his blue eyes sparkling with amusement, as I shake his hand. "I'm Katie. I am currently seventeen years of age, and live here in Los Angeles. I also have a passion for music, and hate John Mayer."

Laughing, Reed pulls his hand away. "Would you like to come to the food court with me? My shift is over and I'm _starving_."

…..

Reed turns out to be everything I need right now.

As we sit at the food court, eating cheese fries, he talks to me like I'm a human being, and not some fragile piece of glass who will erupt at the slightest mention of James, (though, admittedly, I did throw a tantrum over a song he used to sing). He doesn't shoot furtive glances my way when I'm not looking. He doesn't tiptoe around the subject of love.

All in all, he treats me like I'm normal.

Reed tells me that he wants to eventually become a musician or writer; I tell him that I am planning on becoming a record producer, though I've never told anyone this before. We discuss music more than anything, though, and I discover that, while our tastes are slightly different, he likes some decent artists.

Somehow, we end up on the topic of past loves. He admits that he's never had a boyfriend, and that he was in the closet until age seventeen, when his parents tried to set him up on a date with a family friend. I sympathize with him in my head; I know to some extent what it's like to have to hide who you love.

"So you've _never_ been on a date?" I ask in disbelief.

"Actually, I've had a girlfriend." When I gape, Reed smiles at me and says, seriously, "But when I told her that her Prada bag was totally last season, she broke things off."

I already know him well enough to realize that he's joking by his sudden girly tone, and I punch his arm lightly from across the table, laughing.

"But, seriously," he clears his throat. "I _have_ had several girlfriends. In high school, you know? I didn't want to be excluded from the popular crowd, so I went through more girls than Heidi Montag has gone through surgeries. I was a jock; you know, star football, basketball, and baseball player. I was student council president from freshman until junior year, so I had to keep up my reputation. That's why I didn't come out to my parents until I was seventeen."

"Gosh, I'm sorry. That's gotta be rough."

"Yeah," he sighs, rubbing his temple. "When the school found out, at the beginning of my senior year, I was _mortified_. Turns out the family friend had spilled my secret, after she heard me tell my parents, which, yeah, that was kind of my fault for coming out in front of her. All my buddies stopped hanging around me, and started calling me 'fag' and 'queer'. Girls wouldn't hang out with me, either."

"I know what it's like to keep a secret about who you love," I say compassionately. "Well, my brother's girlfriend and his friend Carlos knew. So I had someone to talk to, at least."

Reed raises his eyebrows and makes a gesture with his hands. "Well, go on."

I furrow my brow. "Go on and what?"

"I spilled my guts all over the table for you to poke and prod at, now it's your turn."

"Nice visual," I say, smiling grimly and pushing my cheese fries away. "I don't know if I can tell you…"

"Come on, you can trust me. Tell me about him."

"It's not that I can't trust you, it's that I can't trust myself. I might break down and weep in the middle of the mall."

Reed looks around himself, at the people eating at nearby tables. "And that would just ruin their dinner, right?" He smiles at me, with a wicked glint in his eye.

I roll my eyes and laugh. "Fine. I might be able to choke it out. But don't be alarmed when I just start sobbing, okay?"

Nonplussed, he nods. I take a deep breath and launch into my story.

I don't use really specific details, but I find myself telling it all. From the first night, to the Fall Ball, I tell him everything, pausing to wipe tears when I get to the Zack part. Reed's face clouds over when I describe the night that Zack attacked me, and he gives a little triumphant cheer when I explain how James walked in and kicked his ass. When I recount the events of the Fall Ball, he nearly swoons, and tells me that my life sounds like a movie. I laugh at this, wiping a few stray tears.

I tell Reed about the letters, and Valentine's Day, and I think I actually see tears in his eyes when I relate the story of how I went up to James's room and found the letter. He swears under his breath when I mention that James hung up while Kendall talked to him on the phone.

I break down as I talk about James leaving. Reed comes to my side and hugs me, and, though I've only known him for an hour and a half, there's more comfort in that hug than Jo or Carlos has ever given me. Because Reed knows what it's like to have a dramatic life, he knows what it's like to lie awake crying because of the person or gender you love, just because you know that it'll never happen. Just like me, he's had a rough go of it.

"Hey, hey," he says, swiping a tear from my face with his thumb when I blubber something about my crying being embarrassing. "It's okay, you don't have to worry about what these people think. They're losers, just forget 'em."

I laugh. "But seriously, you know the worst thing, Reed? I'm still in love -with James freakin' Diamond, and there's no-"

Reed, who has just taken a sip of his drink, interrupts me by spraying said gulp of liquid all over the table. I jump backward before the soda can hit me, and he wipes off his mouth.

"Excuse me?" he asks breathlessly. "Did you just say _James Diamond_?"

"I told you James's name," I say, like it's obvious.

"You neglected to mention his last name. Are you talking about _the_ James freakin' Diamond, of Big Time Rush?"

I sigh. "Yes."

"Is your brother…?" Reed trails off, raising his eyebrows.

"Kendall Knight," I finish for him.

"Wow," he says, his eyes wide. "This might weird you out, but I used to have a huge crush on your brother."

"You think that weirds me out?" I ask, snorting. "I still get emails from crazy fans who tell me to ask Kendall to marry them. Though, now that I think of it, I don't really know how they got my email address…"

Reed perks up suddenly, as if in realization. "Wait…I remember reading an article about that kiss from that- the scandal- yeah- oh my gosh! I thought I recognized you!" I chuckle as he is tripping over his words, and roll my eyes.

"Yeah, a lot of people read those magazines." I sigh. "That's how my mom found out, you know." I left that part out of the story, and wince when a wild laugh escapes his mouth.

"Sorry," Reed says, trying to stifle giggles. "It's just- wow. I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty damn awkward."

"I know. I was there."

He doesn't miss the steel in my voice, and rubs my arm. "Hey, I'm sorry for laughing. The guy's a huge douche for doing all that stuff to you and then leaving."

"Well, he got a modeling job. He's the new spokesperson for some company-"

"I don't care if it was for Calvin-motherfrikkin-Klein!" he exclaims, and something inside my brain stirs feebly. Before I can hold onto the thought, however, Reed pulls me up out of my chair.

"Come on," he says, tugging me away from the table. "I've got an idea."

**First of all:**

**I figured I needed to give Katie someone, so please don't be mad! At least I eliminated the thought of her getting with Reed.**

**I thought since Jo's busy with the wedding and Carlos has a girlfriend, that I should give Katie someone to talk to and be friends with.**

**I didn't originally have Reed planned. I just kind of...I don't know, when I wrote the employee asking her to pick up the CD...it just kind of hit me.**

**I stole his name from CP Coulter's amazing fic, Dalton. The Reed in that fic is possibly gay, but I'm not making a carbon copy. I just really like that name anyways.**

**I imagine him as looking like Chord Overstreet (from Glee). Look him up, he's frikkin' gorgeous.**

**SECOND OF ALL: IMPORTANT MY BRUTHAS:**

**If you realized something in this chapter about James's modeling job, DO NOT SAY SO IN THE REVIEWS! Don't spoil it for everyone!**


	11. Like A Virgin, But Not Really

**I want to make sure that you understand that this is one of very few James chapters. Before you squee, I want you to also know that you will NOT be happy with me after this.**

**And James knows it's cliche, though I'm kind of on the fence about whether or not he'd know what that meant. But this IS very corny, and slightly predictable, even.**

**But, on another note, everyone is saying 'MAKE HIM GO BACK TO HER, NOW!', and that's so freaking unrealistic. He can't just up and throw his new career away, I'm sorry. What I chose to do with this is pretty realistic, if cliche.**

**...**

If asked, James Diamond will probably tell you that Katie Knight was his soul mate.

This is what he is thinking as he lies in an upscale hotel bed next to the sleeping form of Brazilian supermodel Edeli Ferreira, whom he has just lost his virginity to.

He doesn't even know how it happened. One minute, he'd been at a party in New York, celebrating the annual party that the company he models for hosted; the next, he was in a soft hotel bed with one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen.

It meant nothing.

Feeling a sudden stir of revulsion at his actions, James vaults out of the silk sheets and into the bathroom, nausea clouding his thoughts. Once he reaches the restroom, he vomits a glut of last night's alcohol.

Once James is finished, he coughs and wipes his mouth. He rests his head against the toilet seat, unconsciously mimicking the actions of his former love from four months ago. Going over the last four months in his mind, he knocks the back of his head against the toilet seat, which, though admittedly disgusting, actually proves to be therapeutic.

_What have I done?_ he thinks, coughing again. _I'm such a damn idiot-_

"James?"

He hates her tinkling voice.

"James? Are you in the bathroom?" She sounds frightened, her barely noticeable accent thickening in terror.

Sighing, James pulls himself off of the floor, and, after checking himself in the mirror, heads back into the bedroom.

"James." This time it is a sigh of relief, and he wishes she would just stop talking. "Oh, thank _God_, I didn't know where you were."

He hates the way she says 'God' in that way, like it's nothing.

Instead of climbing back into the bed, James simply stands there, crossing his arms over his unclothed chest. Edeli cocks her head in confusion and grins playfully, before crooking her finger in a 'come hither' gesture.

"Come on, hon," she purrs, suddenly transforming from playful to seductive, throwing the covers off of herself to expose her bareness. "Ready for round two?"

James finds her words terribly cliché, but then, that's what he's become, isn't it? A walking cliché. He left his family with only a note to explain his sudden abandonment; he finds himself missing how things were, like some character in a corny movie; and, to top it off, after becoming a bigger success, he lost his innocence to a Brazilian supermodel whose name he can barely pronounce.

"What is it, honey?" Edeli asks innocently. "Don't think you're good enough for a second time around? Oh, you _are_…" She actually stands up, the silk sheets tumbling off of her like water.

James supposes that, to any other man, it would be a tempting sight, but all he sees is a woman who's lost her sense of pride. He can't believe what he's done with such a person, and is ashamed beyond words that he traded his old life for this one; sure, the company and staff are great, but the people James meets at parties and social events are cold. They don't care about him, just the fact that he's James Diamond, famous pop star and model.

He wants his old fans, who are now outraged at his leaving the band. He wants his provisional family back in California, the members of which who, based on his short conversation with Kendall four months ago, are most likely furious at him for leaving. He wants Gustavo screaming in his face, and Bitters trying to foil shenanigans that he, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan have cooked up. He wants Mrs. Knight, so loving and motherly, to be there for him like she always was before. He wants the Palm Woods, and sun, and sand, and surf.

And, mostly, he wants kissing in the rain with the girl he loved, holding her, telling her she's beautiful. He wants feeling like a real person.

But it's too late to go back to how things were.

Interrupting James's thoughts, Edeli rotates her hips alluringly, only a foot away. He cautiously backs up a step. "Let's go. We've got all night, baby." Her hair cascades over her shoulders in raven waves, tousled from sleep and sex.

He hates her hair, how colorless and dark it is, lacking the warmth that Katie's brown locks held.

Edeli is inches away by now, breathing softly through pursed lips. "Come on, sweetie. Show me how much of a man you are."

He hates how she accuses him of being a man, when all of his actions indicate otherwise.

She purrs softly again, raking her manicured fingernails lightly over his chest. Still swiveling her waist seductively, she pouts innocently up at him, before her eyebrows knit together in perplexity. The disbelief on her face is evident as she scoffs, "Oh, _God_. Are you _crying_?"

Although he has not noticed, there are indeed tears falling swiftly down James's face. He reaches up and wipes a few away, though there is only more moisture in their place. James backs up a few more steps at the scathing look Edeli is shooting him.

"You take a guy's v-card and he gets all sentimental. God."

"_Can you please_-" James begins in a loud voice, and then lowers it once he realizes his decibel. "Can you please stop saying that?"

"What? 'God'?" she snorts, crossing her arms over her chest, imitating James. "What are you, a goody-little-two-shoes church boy?"

"You could have a little respect for someone's religion," he snaps, stepping closer to the woman in front of him. "How would you feel if I just shouted, 'Oh, this sucks Brazilian balls'?" Breathing hard through his nose, James doesn't realize how absolutely ridiculous his question is, and that it has nothing to do with her religion. Though he's changed a lot in the past four months, he still isn't the brightest guy.

Giggling lightly, Edeli is suddenly no longer angry. "I don't know about Brazilian balls, but I'll-"

"JUST SHUT UP!" James shouts, getting in her face. "Don't you have any self-respect?"

"Why should I? I'm gorgeous and freaking rich!" she cackles, unaware of her screwy logic. When James begins to storm away, she runs after him, landing a soft, dark hand on his arm. "Hey, baby, I'm sorry-"

James wrenches his arm out of Edeli's grip. "Don't 'hey baby' me. You aren't sorry; you're just looking for a good time. You don't want me for me." Unknowingly, he has just described the exact characteristics that his former love once illustrated as making up the kind of woman that was typically chasing after him.

"Wow, honey, you need to learn a few things."

Enraged, James bellows, "AND HOW WOULD I LEARN THOSE THINGS? BY LIVING LIKE _YOU_?"

"'_Like me'_?" she asks, her voice raising in pitch. "'Like me'? You're the one who just slept with someone 'like me'."

"And I really wish I hadn't," James counters, venom thick in his voice.

"You son of a bitch," Edeli breathes, stepping backward. "You talk to me like that, and ask me if I have any self-respect? Is this how you treat all women, or just the beautiful ones?"

He murmurs, "I never treated Katie like this."

"She must have been one ugly whore, then," Edeli laughs humorlessly, walking back over to the bed and picking up her leggings off of the floor before putting them on.

"Don't talk about her like that," he growls to the statuesque woman, who is pulling on her sweater.

Another cold chuckle. "I'm out of here, baby. If you need someone to fulfill a man's needs, you just call me up, okay? You may be a stupid son of a bitch, but you're the best lay I've had in weeks."

With that, she grabs her purse and stalks from the hotel room. The echo from the door slamming rings in James's ears, and, after what seems like an eternity, he puts his face in his hands and weeps like a child.

...

**Angst-overload threatening. Wow. A few things to address:**

**1. I do NOT, under any circumstance, condone the use of the Lord's name in vain. I just knew that I had to make Edeli, like, a supreme bitch. Speaking of the Brazilian skank we all now know and hate...**

**2. ...I searched google for a really superlong time for Brazilian names. And Edeli stuck out to me. **

**3. I mean no offense to people who live or have lived in Brazil. There are whores in America, too.**

**If you want something to tide you over until the next chapter, you could amble on over to my profile and read my Glee fanfic...yeah, shameless self-promoting is kind of my specialty. It's Klaine, which is, as we all know, adorable. Except for my fic, which is so angsty I think ima throw up.**


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